Weird Family Stories

Well I have several weird relatives but the couple that stick out in my head are my Uncle Jerry and my ex-cousin Narissa.  I'll start off with my Uncle Jerry.  Everyone in my house dreads when he calls.  He can talk your ear off about anything and everything.  And as if that isn't enough, he clears his throat after every third word it seems.  Unfortunately most of the time I end up answering the phone when he calls and I get stuck talking to him for half an hour.  He doesn't even know me that well.  I'm also not brave enough to cut him off and give him to my mom.  He's one of my mom's brothers.  She is the youngest of 7 kids with her oldest sibling being 21 years older than her.  Jerry is the second oldest in her family so he is about 68 or 69.  He has three grown daughters, two of which are twins.  Talking to him is certainly a unique experience every time.  Sometimes before I even hand the phone to my mom, she knows it's him just by the expression on my face as I'm talking to him.  Once he talks to her, it could be 2 hours before she's done.

My other relative, Narissa, is a piece of work to say the least.  We are very glad she is not a part of our family anymore.  I always tend to think of her and what she did around the holidays b/c we get together with her family.  Narissa married my cousin Paul on a whim.  She claims she was pregnant so they decided to get married, but conveniently miscarried soon after they decided to marry.  They got married anyway and 9 months later my little cousin Aaron was born.  He was born in September and that next Christmas gathering, which happen to be in January that year, she sat on my couch and starting crying at the fact that she was pregnant again.  She has a son from a previous relationship so this would make child number 3 for her.  I didn't like her to begin with so this made me mad.  After Nathan was born, I would babysit for them occasionally.  Most of the time I would go to their house and then stay the night since they came back late.  One time, she wrote me a check for $25 and when I went to cash it, it bounced b/c she had cleaned out their checking account.  This charged my account the $25 plus the $7 bouncing fee.  I was beyond livid.  Long story short, a couple years later, she was caught for stealing chemicals to make meth from a farm near by.  She was making this with her neighbor who had two daughters of his own.  She got 6 months in jail and my cousin Paul divorced her while she was in there.  Coincidentally, the day she was arrested, she was supposed to sign off parental rights to her first son.  I'm not sure if she ever did that or not.  Once she was out of jail, she was living in a Woman's Shelter and not long after she became pregnant again, this time with a daughter.  Last I knew, she had moved back to Utah, leaving her daughter behind as well as my two cousins.